This month the two of us are celebrating our first date anniversary.
This took place thirty-eight years ago.
After all these years, why is it so important to us? Well, firstly, the first date has a special meaning. It was the first time we sat and got to know each other.
We were both in high school, and we ended up on the beach, at night, and I just happened to have a blanket in the boot of my car.
Nothing physical happened, but what did happen was the discovery of another person that is different, interesting and is a possible candidate for a second date. I think we ended with a very brief kiss at her doorstep, but the promise of:” to be continued,” was there.
Five years later, we got married, I was twenty-three and she was twenty-two years old, kids really. Madly in love.
I’m always amused by how people have the need to congratulate us, but yes, I agree, it is an achievement.
One of the biggest lessons we’ve learned in our 38 years together is that love is a journey, not a destination. Sounds cliché, but it’s true! There’s no “end goal” where everything is perfect and you’ve ‘made it.’ Instead, every day brings new challenges and opportunities to grow. Some days are smooth sailing, and others feel like you’re both holding on for dear life—but hey, such is life.
Our most important decision was that we are a team, always will be a team and always be together. We were, and still are, our own best friends, lovers and yes, for the clinicals amongst us: believers in true love. One of our favourite movies is “The Prince’s Bride,” for us it is much more than a great story and funny movie, true love is a concept we still hold dear.
And yes, after all the years, all what life had thrown at us, everything that we’ve been through, we are still in love and very much intimate.
The way we see it, and speaking from personal experience: the secret to a long, satisfaction filled voyage, through the mundane existence of everyday life, is no secret at all.
We would argue that everyone in a meaningful relationship has figured this puzzle out a long time ago-it requires work. And work is not a swear word, far from it. In fact, it is the opposite, nothing wrong with work, especially when it is fun.
How do you keep things fresh and interesting? And sex from becoming boring, tedious, the same-oldsame -old?
Throughout the month we released snippets of advice, some are listed below:
- Prioritise Physical Intimacy: Let’s be honest—physical intimacy is an important part of a relationship. We’ve always made it a priority to keep the spark alive in this department, too. The trick? Don’t let it become routine. Try new things, take your time, and communicate openly about your desires.
- Communication is key: Talk openly about your desires, needs, and boundaries. Listen without judgment.
- Touch is powerful: Little gestures like holding hands, hugging, or a playful nudge can bring you closer. Intimacy is more than just sex: It’s about those small moments, like sharing a laugh or cuddling before bed. Don’t underestimate the power of connection.
- Plan ‘intimacy dates’: Once a week, set aside time to really reconnect with your partner. And hey, if you want to spice things up, try something new in the bedroom, add some new toys( you know where to find them.)
- Foreplay starts outside the bedroom: It’s more than physical touch. Slow down, enjoy the build-up, and focus on emotional connection.
Honestly, the list could go on, but you get the idea. It’s all about paying attention and not taking anything for granted.
Simple, and like all good advice-effective! This works, as long as you are caring for each other.
Our Biggest Piece of Advice
If we had to give one piece of advice to couples looking to spend the rest of their lives together, it would be this: grow together. Life changes, and so do people. The person you married 10, 20, 30 years ago isn’t the exact same person you’re with today. But that’s not a bad thing! It’s an opportunity to fall in love over and over again.
Growing together doesn’t mean you always agree on everything . It means learning to adapt, evolve and support each other through every stage of life. When you do that, you’ll find that the love you share deepens and strengthens with time. Growing together can, and should be a never ending adventure.
And, of course, never forget to have fun along the way! Life’s too short to take it too seriously. So go out, celebrate your first date anniversary (even if it was decades ago), and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
With love
Sari & Robby
